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4 Strategies for Moms to Put Themselves Again on the List of Priorities

When Zara reached out to me with this topic, I was thrilled to have the opportunity to share these tips with my readers. I can relate so much to this essay and the struggles of a new mom. With number 2 on the way soon, Zara’s essay is a great reminder of how important self-care is for mothers.


Guest Writer: Zara Lewis

After the stork delivers a bundle of joy to your doorstep, your list of daily priorities will be in for a major reshuffle, and your self-care will probably be the first to fly out the window once the To Do list starts to grow out of proportion. As a mother, you’ll have thrice the amount of duties on your hands compared to the days when you were a bright-eyed, bushy-tailed single lady, but it still doesn’t mean you should let chores, work, and family responsibilities rob you of sanity – or the right to tend to your own needs, for that matter. If you’re struggling to put yourself back to priority list sans guilt in the mix, you may want to give these four simple strategies a go.

Sign up for a workout program

Few moms even bother trying to fit a trip to the gym in their weekly agenda, and it usually costs them many health and fitness points down the road. The fact that you regularly run medical and dental checkups isn’t sufficient self-care to keep you healthy, strong, fit, and capable of tackling all the challenges motherhood brings in tow. If you want to save cash and time you’d otherwise spend on gym membership, you can buy a few handpicked workout equipment pieces and turn one of the rooms into a fitness studio: that way, you’ll be able to sweat stress out whenever and for as long as you want.

Get out of the house every day

Many new moms turn into couch potatoes overnight: the sheer amount of housework they are expected to complete every day locks them out of spare time and they end up spending the odd free hour watching the telly or staring at the ceiling. Don’t let chores turn into a ball and chain tethering you to the hearth: by taking the time to get out of the house, you’ll get at least half an hour to yourself every day, and you’ll be able to take a break from being a mom and be who you truly are, sans secondary roles in the mix. On days when stress is flying high, even a trip to the grocery can save a mother’s life, and a well-timed walk around the park can help a busy girl beat the blues, indulge in precious peace and silence, and muster mental strength to endure another long day.

Create an efficient schedule

Even if you’re not a huge believer in To Do lists, you may want to consider giving them a shot as you elbow your way towards an extra half-hour of hard-earned Me time. Some mothers perform best on detailed schedules, while others find open-ended daily agendas with a broad list of tasks to tackle a more comfortable fit. Whichever of the two pools you may belong in, starting the day with a list of most important duties and responsibilities to see to is a smart thing to do, as it will give you a clearer idea about the scope of work you’ll have on your hands. On top of better time management, ticking off points on an arm-long To Do list will make you feel as a Supermom and seeing the progress you’re making will also keep you motivated on less than stellar days.

Learn to delegate like a pro

One of the most difficult lessons a new mom has to learn if she’s to survive the first few months post-delivery is learning to delegate and refuse tasks that are simply too draining. This is a major challenge for ladies used to handling everything by themselves: at some point, you’ll realize you are just an ordinary human being with limited power stock and you’ll have to stop investing your time, energy, and nerves into trying to make everything perfect. No, your son won’t load the dishwasher as neatly as you do, and yes, your husband will make a mess of changing the diaper the first few times, but hey – life will go on. Learning to delegate tasks and say ‘No’ are the most important lessons you can pick up this year, so start learning them right away if you want to stay on the safe – and sane – side of the priority list.

Putting yourself back into the big picture of everyday life is tough with a baby onboard but you’ll have to do it sooner rather than later if you’re to remain a normal and functional human being. Ready to shake up your list of priorities and start treating yourself like one of them? Stick to the strategies above and you’ll soon fall back in love with your life: after all, it’s too short to waste it slaving over the stove and hanging laundry on the clothesline. Good luck!


About the Author:

Zara Lewis (Twitter: @ZaraELewis) is a mom, fitness & yoga enthusiast and a regular writer for High Style Life. She is devoted to implementing healthy life habits in every aspect of life of her family and friends. She loves to share her parenting tips and is always open to learning some new skills, because she sees her parenthood as going to school forever. She enjoys traveling, hiking, cycling and baking.


67 thoughts on “4 Strategies for Moms to Put Themselves Again on the List of Priorities”

  • I’m not a mom, but I’m around lots of them, and I can see how easy it is to lose track of self when you have a tiny being to take care of that has no sense of others yet. It’s so important to craft out some me-time, and prioritize it! These are great ways to accomplish that.

  • Getting out of the house (and exercising while I’m out) is the BIGGEST one for me. I can turn any bad day around if I just get out from our house’s 4 walls for a little while!

  • As the wife of a Soldier who’s currently deployed AND the homeschool mom of 11-year-old twins AND a small business owner, I can’t tell you how helpful this is! Now to put it into practice!

    • Wow, you could write a post like this! You go mama! I’m impressed by anyone who can balance all of that. I know how hard it is when my husband is just out of town for a few days, I can’t imagine a full deployment!

    • Thank you soooo much! I’m really glad you found it helpful. And also proud of the fact that my articles are read by so great&strong women like you!

    • Hahaha, I can totally correlate with you too. But from my personal experience, I can tell that it works great! All you have to do is leave the others do things their way. Once you see this working, you’ll regret the time you did everything just by yourself 🙂

    • Yes, I felt very unprepared with my first. I only saw cute photos that my friends posted of their newborns that didn’t reveal all the moments in between the cute photos! 🙂

    • Thank you! I’m glad you loved it. We’ve all been there, isolation and loosing ourselves are not easy things. As Davi said, lots of moms are totally unprepared for that, seeing only birds and butterflies on those cute photos, and then going through some difficult phases when facing the reality.

  • This is so important. I made the mistake of not making myself a priority for years. I felt like a household appliance. What pissed me off was that my spouse was happy to have it that way. I eventually realized I had to change. It took a while to break the bad habits but it eventually worked.

    • Yes, my favorite part of the day is when I bring my toddler outside to play. I’m hoping we can continue this when baby #2 is here!

    • Dear Anne, getting out of the house is essential, I agree with you! Fresh air makes wonders both to our body and soul! I realized that if I don’t get out of the house even just for a day, I feel sick, literally! So getting out with the kids is so great, we all enjoy it.

    • Yes, I have a cleaning schedule that I use daily. I make it simple, with plenty of wiggling room since toddlers are unpredictable, but it helps so much with staying focused!

  • Thank you for the reminder that moms DO deserve to be on the priority list. When my kids moved out, I was at a loss. Had I been more of a priority, it wouldn’t have been as big of an adjustment for me.

    • I saw my mom go through a huge adjustment when her last kid moved out. However, she is now prioritizing herself and practicing self care. I’m very proud of her!

    • I think we should start practicing this self-love as a parent as early as possible. Or to be more exact, it would be the best not to forget ourselves at all during different parenting phases. I know it’s hard and I’m personally struggling with this often, especially with the feeling of guilt, whenever I do something for myself first, but I realized if I’m unhappy, my kids are unhappy too.

    • Yes, I admire any mother who is able to work from home! I’m a SAHM mom now, but when I did work I chose not to take an option to work from home once a month. I could never get anything done!

  • Getting out of the house is so important. I managed to combine it with heading to the gym and getting in a work out and it was honestly the best thing for my sanity when I was staying at home with the kids.

    • I recently joined a gym with a daycare and it was so nice to drop her off to play for 45 minutes while I got a work out in. Exercise can change your day!

    • Yes, one of the best things I did was join a mommy-child class. It was a “gym” class for toddlers, but I enjoyed talking with other moms too!

  • I really love these tips even for women who aren’t moms! Exercising, getting out of the house, and learning to delegate (and ask for help when I need it) have been lifesavers for me!

  • I’ve learned through my 13 yrs as a mom to become a master delegator! I still remember back when my kids were babies, and it was essential for me to pack everyone up in strollers and just get out of the house each day.

  • It’s so easy to become a full time servant to others and lose ourselves to the 24/7 mom life. These suggestions are so important and as someone with older kids I can tell you that if you don’t practice putting yourself on the priority list now by the time your kids get older you may forget how and before you know it you have lost all sense of self. Great post!

  • I’m amazed that for all of these tips there is always a precondition of having someone on who you can rely. Counting on other people is not always possible. Both my children where born when I was an expat and my husband did nothing but travel around the globe. not knowing the language, the neighborhood or having family or friends near and none of your tips can be applied.

    • Not having a partner that is at least home in the evenings does add a challenge to parenting! I know for the gym, I am fortunate enough to be a member at a gym with a daycare, so I hope you can find something similar. I know for me, just walking around the neighborhood with the stroller is often my “quiet time” because my child is busy enjoying the scenery. The to=do list of priorities is my favorite because I don’t depend on anyone else for those. Even before children, I would make to-do lists for both home and work that really helped prioritize my day. I would love to read a post written by you with tips for expat mothers. It sounds like your experience could be very valuable to others.

  • I love this so much. It’s always nice to take time for ourselves as mothers. If we cannot take care of ourselves and make sure we’re happy than we cannot make a happy childhood.

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